One day at a time

I walked into the office this morning, sat down at the desk, and broke into tears. I could not see any way for me to possibly manage to save my parents' house from one day being taken away by the mortgage company. Night before last I started to walk down the hall and everything hit me, I just paused, hand gripping the coffee mug that had nearly dropped to the floor, and diligently went through the now familiar process of slowly pushing it all back, tucking everything away where I can't think about it and hiding it all behind illusions carefully maintained to keep me going. Going toward what? At the moment just going. Keeping me focused enough that I can continue to help my dad and do what he needs done to life a comfortable life. I'll worry about the rest of it someday down the road, when I at last stop pushing things back and let them all catch up with me.