Paul Harvey and the case of the stollen lobsters

I had listened to Paul Harvey today with my dad, his Saturday noon broadcast, and he told a tale that I had found amusing. It had sounded like it had just recently happened, but it’s apparently actually from back in 2005.

It seems that In Bristol, England a fellow by the name of Nigel Firth wanted to have some lobster for dinner. Well, he didn't exactly have the price of a lobster dinner, so he decided that it was a good idea to go down to the local market and shoplift a couple of them. I’m sure that you can already see that this tale is going to turn out very badly for poor Nigel Firth.

Securing his desired crustaceans, Firth quickly stuffed them down into his pants and took off at a fast sprint toward the exit. I have no idea just how far the poor man got before, well… before the lobsters decided that it was time to defend themselves. Needless to say at least one of them managed to find a convenient claw hold and EMTs were required to remove the lobsters.

I would say this fellow should have got at least an honorary mention in the Darwin Awards - he may have survived, but I doubt his seed is still in the gene pool.