I sit here today and I stare at the computer and out the window and I wonder... what do I do? I have fought so hard and long to keep my home, but... what do I do? Am I fighting a battle that is already lost? or is there still some hope of keeping my home? I don't know. I feel like I could fall back into blackness once again if I blink my eyes for too long.
I stopped today and asked myself if it was actually worth all of the stress and bills I am being buried under and the endless dead ends I have hit to save the house from foreclosure.
I started to write this post with the intention of asking "what should I do?" but... then I heard the dog bark outside and went to see what she barked at and looked out the door. I scanned the yard I have had no time to enjoy this summer because I have been too stressed out or too busy trying to save my home and I realized what I am fighting for. I realized that yes, it IS worth fighting for, it is worth whatever expenses I have to incur to save it. I want to keep my home... I just don't know if I can. Things are in a bad position right now and I am staring at a mess that built up over the course of a couple of years of thinking I was making headway then having to start over, again and again.
If I only knew then what I know now, but I trusted the banks were going to work with me and it lead me in the wrong directions too many times and I am now out of trail and staring at the crumbling bridge I need to cross. Will I make it to the other side... or will I end up in the torrential river far below and swept who knows where?
I don't know, but what I do know is this is worth fighting for and I am going to keep fighting for my home.
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NOTICE: I love trying to make this a good travel journal and while I know I fall short of my dream, I also spend a LOT of time pondering and rereading comments to see if I should post or delete as robot SPAM. So... a few rules on the comments.
I want anyone, not only Blogger members or Open ID members to be able to comment, however... Please sign your comment, if you do not it will not be published. Anonymous comments help no one and are unreliable.
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Thank you for your help in making it easier for me to know what is robotic SPAM and what are real personal reviews.