Doctors and used car salesmen

We took my dad to a doctor's appointment with his heart specialist today. The guy wanted to talk to us about the results of a EchoCardiagram they did on dad a few weeks back. Seems that the blood clot that is in Dad's heart is smaller, no mention of the "floater" that they had mentioned when the first echo was done a while back. The doctor told us that where a normal heart should pump 50-70%, dad's is only pumping 15-20%. Also the mitro valve is leaking "mildly, but not bad."
The doctor said that with an ejection fractio below 30% a AICD (automatic implantable cardiac defibrilator) was usually installed. This is a decice that slips under the skin in a day surgery and two electrodes are put into the vein and if the heart starts to fibrilate (beat rapidly) the electrodes shock it into normal rythm like a defibrilator. We had heard about the things before, a doctor in Washington had said they could put one in but was not pushy insistant about it.
The doctor today litterally said, in his best used car salesman or preacher spouting fire and brimstone voice, that if we want dad to live we get him this otherwise he'll die in his sleep tonight. To try to reconstruct his words: "If you can say that you've done all you wanted in life and say 'oh if I died in my sleep it wouldn't be a problem, I've done all I want, seen all I want', then don't worry about it, but if you say 'I want to see another sunset and sunrise, I want to smell more flowers.." etc, you get the idea on what was a five minute speech... "then you need an AICD. Without it you *WILL* die."
Sounded so totally like a preacher saying I would go to hell, which, incidently, is a complaint I have about him and other doctors I've dealth with.
I go because mom can't push dad's wheel chair and only I know his meds off the top of my head. The doctors (primarily this one) all act like I am the only one there capable of understanding and making a choice. I TRY to get them to understand my mom is the one they want to talk to about things, not me, but they seem to think she's only there because it's her husband. As we were leaving mom pointed out that most folks like that assume that because her and dad are old they can't think for themselves anymore. That pisses me off. Why is it that just because someone gets older people assume they can't think for themselves? My mother still balances all the bills (in her head) and shops for a month and stretches the budget where needed and does ALL the driving (I don't drive she does). And yet, everyone assumes that she can't comprehend what they're telling her about things?
It's bullshit. Doctor's, rather the wife is just window dressing or not, should talk to the wife, not the child. It's like mom said to dad last night, it's their choice, not us kids' on if dad gets one of them things because if something happens (these are the devices that was recalled for killing people too, I asked the doc about that and he said "Oh when that happens we just switch to another manufacturer for a little while." EXCUSE ME? How often does this shit happen?! - makes note to research that!) - anyway, if something happens then they don't want one of us kids feeling like we made a choice that killed our dad.
Okay, I have to take off now, so cutting this post off here, will try to add to it later, but no promises.