Sunday, April 03, 2011

Parenthood

I was pondering my life earlier today and figured out that my mom was five years older than me when we set off to move back to Alaska when I was a kid. We lived a lot in the years after that, so I definitely have some adventure in the future... I do not, however, have much hope that I have the adventure of having a family of my own in my future.

I still might meet a guy that I could end up marrying, if I can get past the whole borderline agoraphobic teetering on full clinical agoraphobia issues that I have battled most of my life. I will not, unfortunately be likely to have any need for maternity clothing in the future.

It is the one thing I regret in having dedicated my life to taking care of my parents. I'll never have children of my own. Sitting here, at 40, it's a hard thing to think on, my mom was 35 when I was born, and technically a woman can still have kids at 40, but... first thing they need is a boyfriend and I have not been able to meet guys to look for a boyfriend since I was a teenager. Maybe I'll take up fishing again this summer, start trying to get out to the fishing holes to meet guys, because I really don't like the idea of meeting guys at bars, and I'm not sure, even as much as I am into computers, that the whole Internet dating thing is for me.

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