Monday, March 22, 2010

Stress.... scream or cry or rant... think I will rant

It was a busy weekend for me, spent half of the weekend working on how to get a video to work right, then for Sunday my oldest nephews and one of their families called up that they had been out for a Sunday drive and realized they were at the end of our street so thought they might stop in to say hi to their grandfather for a few minutes. I think the last time we saw the oldest's family was Christmas, the other one we had not seen since Thanksgiving and even then it had been less seeing the guy and more of a seeing him across the room sitch. As for the oldest, he had stopped by earlier last week when he helped my bro tow a car home, dropped in to see us for a few minutes. Amazing how fast he said he would be back more often after I handed him a check for $100. ::shaking head:: Should I go see a doctor or something? See if me or dad has some kind of herpes simplex virus or cooties or something that people flee from?

It does not help that fifteen minutes after they left, to the tune of my dad telling them if their mom don't come see him he's walking down to their place to find her butt, that my sister called and said she was about to go past our road on the way home and was thinking she might stop in to visit for a few minutes.

I was very very glad to see dad get company, he sat up awake and happy and chattering about stuff, but why does it take three months or more before anyone can find the time to say hi to him? I'm sick of begging people to please come see him, and he no longer belives anyone that says "I'll be back soon" when they leave. I feel like an idiot for standing around talking about anything I can possibly think of to say something ab out, but MY GAWD, how the hell else am I supposed to keep them around long enough that dad (who don't say a lot as a general rule and can sit for hours in silence before he suddenly starts commenting on things) gets to spend some time with his own damn family members?

I don't know what else to do, especially when a couple of my relations have claimed in the past that I refuse to let anyone help. I don't know how in the hell they figure that, but I know how they're going to figure it in the future because I am tired of the BS and just trying to make it day to day anymore and if they want to come by and visit with dad they can (and I know they know where this blog is and read it so they can't effing say they don't know how I feel about it). I know they hate me, I don't really care anymore, but I don't know what the hell they want me to do about things I did not do to cause it. I won't force my dad to change his mind on things he wanted, so people can just hate me as long as dad's happy. It's what mom would have wanted, and the best compliment I ever got was a snide comment on my trying to do stuff how she would want me to after she passed away.