Tuesday, March 23, 2010

They just don't get it

My sister had stopped by last night, not long after I stressed out and growled, to hang out with our dad. Only.... I don't know. :::sigh:: I would like to offer a word of advice to people that go to visit an elderly family member, if I might? Visit with them. TALK to them. I can't seem to convince anyone around here that sitting in silence is.... argh. I tried three or four times to politely (and bluntly) suggest that the visitor should talk to the person they were visiting. At one point I got told something about visitor figured visitee was watching TV - which was followed by a snore from the visitee. :::pounds head on desk:::

End result was that by the time my sib left, my dad was asking if he could go to their place just because they had not actually visited with him any while they were here, just sat on sofa and ignored him. I swear, now on, someone walks in the door, I am turning the TV off entirely so they don't have the "Well, I don't want to interrupt his TV" excuse any more. Hints fail, even him saying he's not watching stuff fails, last resort I can think of is to turn TV off entirely when company visits so they either sit in boredom or talk to the guy they are supposed to be here to visit and talk to.

Don't have anything to say? Make a list before you come of assorted things in the news or stuff happening in your family or other things. Healthcare reform was passing through congress and was PERFECT discussion point, but people sat in silence rather than talk to dad - who is very opinionated on that topic and even tried a few times last night to start talking about it and failed to engage a discussion. Hell, the entire family on that side has been here the past few days, and yet NONE of them has bothered to say ANYTHING to dad about a passing comment I heard from one of my grand nieces, and confirmed by the person in question, that one of dad's grandkids is getting married in a few months. Why the hell can't they talk to him about stuff like that if they don't have anything else to say to him? And lastly, it is not necessary to visit for HOURS in silence when all the person wants is people to visit him when they say they will and talk to him for half an hour or an hour.

I don't know, I just gt so frustrated that when I do get it through to people that a 5 mile drive is not too far to say hi once a month, they ignore dad while they are here. I tried to hide out, which I used to do all the time when mom was alive since I knew people didn't come to see me anyhow, but leaving visitors and dad alone is a useless effort, he is still left to sit in silence and ignored by the visitors until he goes to sleep and leaves them alone. Just makes me want to scream. I'll go hit the chocolate stash instead and chalk up another day to diet failure due to stress.